Scars

You look at me and see no scars

My scars are not physical but deep inside of me

These scars have been created psychologically

They run deep

Penetrating each nerve of my being

Each tells their own story

Of words that have slowly over time destroyed me

They don’t heal like physical wounds

They stay open waiting for the smallest breach

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You’re Nice

‘You’re nice’

I hear these 2 words and my heart crumbles

My happiness instantly becomes sadness

I feel lonely

I question my being

I think to myself why

Why do these words inflict so much pain

How can I be in such pain but show no scars

What did I do to deserve this loneliness

Words of comfort are offered

I see the movement of their lips

But hear nothing but silence

Raindrops

I hear the pita pata of raindrops being flung onto my window.

The wind using all of its ferocity to punish each raindrop.

I wonder to myself what the raindrops did to offend the wind.

Did they disrupt the cooling affect on a humid day?

Did they provide the cool on a sweltering day?

Could I be wrong.

Could the wind and rain be working in harmony?

To provide a soothing sound? To relax people?

So many questions.

So few answers.

Haunted

‘I want to meet you’

These words they echo round my head

Why was I dreaming this

This is the past

It’s clear 

That I have moved on

Forgotten 

Forced myself to hate you

Then as if by magic you reappear 

Like a haunting memory 

Waiting for a resolution 

I’m stood here in the shower….

I’m stood here in the shower

The water it streams down from my head down my face like a waterfall 

The sound it calms me

Allows me to slow down life and be at one with my thoughts 

I reflect on my day, my year, my life

Contemplating the choices I’ve made

Were they good, bad or too early to tell

I shake my head

Awakening myself

Why am I thinking about the past?

It’s not something I can change

I need to look forward 

And think what do I want

And how do I get there