I’m stood here in the shower….

I’m stood here in the shower

The water it streams down from my head down my face like a waterfall 

The sound it calms me

Allows me to slow down life and be at one with my thoughts 

I reflect on my day, my year, my life

Contemplating the choices I’ve made

Were they good, bad or too early to tell

I shake my head

Awakening myself

Why am I thinking about the past?

It’s not something I can change

I need to look forward 

And think what do I want

And how do I get there

Wow

Wow

I just saw her

She looked beautiful 

She was laughing and smiling at me

We were surrounded by other people

But all we saw was each other

Her smile

Her smile was perfect 

I’ve never seen someone like that before

And she liked me for being me

Was it a dream

Or was it a glimpse into my future

I’m so impatient that I want to know now

Future 

I’m sat opposite you

I see you hair glisten

It sat perfectly on your shoulder 

A breeze passes by

It whispers your name to me

Yet who is this person I see

Their face is a blur

I try to focus 

But alas it is no good

I’m left with the bittersweet memory that I will see you soon

Our meeting has been written but it’s not today

Deceiving 

You look from the outside and see me smiling

This is what I choose to show 
Deep down I’m empty 

I’m tired

I’m alone 

But again I smile 

My smile is a sign of tears

Of unhappiness 

Of fakeness 

But again I smile 

Because I want to deceive you 

Next time you see me look at my eyes

And you’ll see the truth 

Running

I run from the haunting memories
I promise myself never again
To move forward
Dream
Stop the regrets that trigger the pain
Take risks that help create fonder memories
But still I’m dragged back
I promise myself that I will use the past to make my future better